Roger's Rating:

I've been looking forward to this movie for close to a year now. Ever since we heard about a porn version of the much beloved sit-com and saw the high profile display in Vegas, it has been on the top of everyone's must-see list. It is a great idea for a porn parody, but is also potentially a train wreck. Luckily, the pieces all seem to be in place. Director Wil Ryder is the man behind the Britney Rears movies and we all know how well those have worked out. He handled those pop culture fantasy flicks wonderfully. If the same sense of humor and sexual fantasy play are present here, this should be a success. The cast is also crucial here. Just handing out familiar names to a punch of porn chicks and meat puppets would signal something cheap and lame. In reality we have perfect casting. Industry vets Mike Horner and Alana Evans as mom and dad are great. Both can handle dialog and Alana is experienced enough without looking old enough to actually be Mike's wife. Hillary Scott as Marcia is an inspired bit of casting, though it should be an obvious one. You want someone cute, wholesome and pretty who also fucks like her crotch is on fire? That's Hillary baby. Aurora Snow as Jan is just as brilliant. She has the look, especially in this movie and can play that frustrated second banana role beautifully. Leah Luv is a cute barely legal girl who should give us a great turn as Cindy. The guys? They don't matter as much, but if it matters to you, they are also well cast. All of the pieces are in place so we just have to put them in the right setting. After all, a Brady parody wouldn't mean much without the right clothes and sets. Both are handled beautifully here. I'll talk more about that in the close, but color me impressed already. The theme song is fucking brilliant, the look perfect, the clothes wonderfully dated and...well, read on.

When the non-Bradys run into financial difficulties, the kids all pitch in to help.

Though Marcia finds work easily as a figure model, it is Bobby who lands the first film role. He is just trying to save the house and ends up on set with sexy Jasmine. She is hot as ever, but jumps right into full quag mode the second his dick hits her lips. That mess stops for a while though. So we end up with a blowjob that looks incredible and is only partially annoying. There is something wonderfully naughty about Jasmine every time she starts talking dirty. She keeps that up as she rides his dick, giving us the lovely sight of her puffy lips around a dick and the sweet sound of a woman who knows how to sell it. The sex looks great, is very energetic and ends with a big facial. They let the camera roll as the cum drips off of her chin and she licks her fingers clean.

The girls try a car wash to raise money, but Cindy runs into a greasy dude who offers her big money for something special. Kurt Lockwood shows up and is soon sharing a couch with little Cindy. Since Leah has always had the barely legal thing going, she fits perfectly into this role and gives a solid pigtailed blowjob. Her heart shaped pubes are cute and so is Leah as she bounces energetically in reverse cowgirl. There is some nice cowgirl footage and very hard mish fucking. For the most part Kurt keeps his mouth shut and his feet well away from her cute face. That alone makes the scene better than we might have expected it to be. They have good energy, play up the pigtails and braces angle and end with a nice shot on her face that gets mostly swallowed.

Jan stays busy with her boyfriend on the back lawn. Tee provides the hard dick and she just sucks it like a perfect girlfriend. As usual, the excels with the eye contact and ball sucking. Since she looks the most like the Brady she is portraying, this scene has some added fantasy appeal. It also features stunning hand work as she makes his dick disappear into her throat. Aurora looks really good, especially with her legs spread wide for some serious pussy licking. He slides easily into her pussy and gets a good response from the sexy middle daughter. The little white socks thing is pretty cute, but the reverse cowgirl really steals the show. Aurora looks great and fucks like she's having a great time. Tee bends her over and grabs her by the hair, fucking her hard from behind. In the end he nuts all over her face, giving u a fantastic scene. This is one of the strongest Aurora scenes we have seen in a while.

Peter must be the popular brother in the family because he has two hot brunettes pop by just for a fuck. Paulina and Veronique share the dick and both are cute, but Paulina emerges as the true star here. She plays perfectly to the camera, takes that cock deep and keeps her tongue busy any time she isn't the focus of attention. Don't get me wrong, Veronique shines as well. She is particularly fetching as she mounds his cock and rides in reverse cowgirl. The girls are very interested in each other and that makes for some great reaction shots as they watch one another get fucked. In addition to the hot sex scene, we should note that this set really does look like the old Brady Boys room from the TV show. Kudos to the set designer and everyone in charge of this aspect of the production. All that wouldn't mean much without the great energy and the shared facial finish provided by these sexy little hose beasts. Way to go Pete.

Ever wonder what Mike and Carol did when the lights went out? Not surprisingly, they get down and dirty. Mike drives his blonde wife crazy with some serious rug munching and in return he gets a killer BJ. Alana has always been one of porn's most enthusiastic cock suckers so she brings a lot to the table here. She even uses her big titties to her advantage. She didn't always have those, but they add to the action here. The funky wig on her head makes her look a lot older than she is, but we get a pretty nice little scene from this hot industry vet. The doggy really works and she uses two hands at the end to jerk his load right onto her waiting mouth.

There is only one couple left to get busy. After getting hit in the face by a football Marcia hunts Greg down and insists that they make a porno movie to help out mom and dad. He eats her pussy and gets her ready, but we can tell that she wants more. Then Ben acts out the fantasy of nearly every male in America by sticking his cock right into Marcia's mouth. Hillary is so fucking pretty that this scene would be great even without the fantasy aspects at play. When her mouth isn't stuffed full of cock, Hillary is talking dirty or licking his balls. Yes folks Marcia has what it takes to be a serious porn slut. She straddles his cock and works her pussy up and down, taking every inch as her delectable boobies bounce for us. They finish off this sexy scene with a big shot on her face. There is a nice little surprise ending as well.

Bonus:

Just a little note. There is an extensive thank you list at the end and I made it on there. The bonus material consists of a two part behind the scene reel that is funny, interesting and nicely paced. It is much more than your usual BTS in that regard. There are interviews with Hillary, Aurora and Alana as well as with the director of this fine little adult movie. There is a making of the soundtrack feature for you music fans out there. We also get trailers for other X Play movies. Nice collection of bonus material on that, but we expect that from anything X Play puts out.

I love this movie. It's the perfect blend of hilarious parody, sexual fantasy, solid feature and strokeable smut. Everything from the sets to the music are wonderful. They even threw in some continuity errors that can be seen as a fitting tribute to a show that was rife with them. Let's just hope those were on purpose. As a feature, Not the Bradys XXX works even better than the Britney Rears movies. It's a simple script with universally funny themes. Brady girls doing porn. Yeah, that works for me. It answers all those questions we had about the show. What do Mike and Carol do when they are alone? What would happen if Marcia and Greg ever got it on? Does that fake grass cause horrible rug burn? Could Cindy suck dick with braces? Of course it fails to answer a few burning questions. How can six kids share one bathroom? What exactly does Mrs. Brady with her day? Not the Bradys XXX is easily one of the top comedies of 2007. It is a wonderfully made movie with a great sense of humor and huge fantasy appeal. Of course all of this great stuff wouldn't mean a thing if the sex wasn't hot. How does Not the Bradys stack up sexually? Pretty damn well. Hillary and Aurora are fantastic. They look great, stay in character and provide plenty of heat. Jasmine Byrne and Paulina James are great additions to the cast as well. The women look great, they bring good energy to the action and everyone stays in character. What more could you ask for? Maybe for Sam the Butcher to really slip some meat to Alice. I don't know that they can get the cast together again, but this movie is good enough to be the next great porn franchise. Some of us have waited a long, long time for some of these prime time fantasies to come true and thanks to Hillary Scott, Aurora Snow, Wil Ryder and Jasmine Byrne, they finally do. Brilliantly put together and sexually hot, Not the Bradys XXX is worth picking up and is a strong contender for comedy of the year.

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM